Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
