i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
