I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
honey bunches of taint.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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