a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize