I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize