so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize