so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
