i jhust puked up my retainher.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
