i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
