I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
