i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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