Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
