why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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