You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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