I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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