Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
