real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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