You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
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Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
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Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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