I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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