just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
