you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I will pee on everything he values.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
