i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later heβs sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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