just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
