I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
