Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
