not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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