Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
