I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
