i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
