I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
