Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
our cab driver is having phone sex.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
