i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
