We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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