I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
