When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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