i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Acid is not a monday night drug
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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