you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We left the knife in your bed.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize