Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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