Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize