Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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