I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize