U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
farters have to be the big spoon...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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