Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
