we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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