Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
