Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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