it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
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Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
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You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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