you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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