Kiss
Puke
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
