The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
