Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
