They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
