I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
