so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
