Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
