Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
