porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
