I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
