so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
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Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."