Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?