I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
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it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
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I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.